Co-Parenting Basics

It’s usually best for children if co-parenting arrangements keep both parents involved in a child’s life. But it’s not always easy to create new parenting arrangements when a relationship breaks down.

For example, you and your child’s other parent might both want as much time as possible with your child, or your child’s other parent might not want to see your child. You might see equal time with your child as a fair solution, but this might not be possible for various reasons – for example, because your child is still breastfeeding. Or it might not be the best option for your child.

There are many practical issues to sort through, too, like where you both live. Children generally do better when their parents live near each other, but this isn’t an option for all separated families.

Whatever your situation, you and your child’s other parent need to make clear decisions about how you’ll parent your child now and in future. It’ll be easier if you can both keep open minds and try to think about how your child is feeling as you work out your co-parenting arrangements.

To meet everyone’s needs – with a focus on what’s best for your child – you might have to make some compromises.

Developing A Co-Parenting Plan

A co-parenting plan is a useful way to set out care arrangements for your child, your parental responsibilities and the new relationship between you and your child’s other parent. The key thing is to ensure that your child can have safe and healthy relationships with all their parents.

A co-parenting plan should address:

• a care arrangement schedule
• education
• finances
• children’s medical needs or concerns
• holidays and special events
• guidelines for decision-making and dispute resolution

The plan should also include backup arrangements in case your child needs to stay home from childcare or school. That might mean talking to your child’s other parent about how they can help out. You might be able to discuss this in person, on the phone, or via email or text message.

Once your co-parenting plan is in place and working, you need to agree on what happens if one of you needs to change the plan or has a change in circumstances in the future.

RMDS can assist you and your child’s other parent to draft a parenting plan or agreement that is child-focused and fit for purpose for your individual circumstances.